13 Things to Do Instead of Drunk Texting Your Ex

The correlation between the number of drinks you consume and the desire to text your ex is undeniable. We get it—it’s not you, it’s the alcohol taking control of your fingertips.

Luckily, we’re here to help with a list of things that you can do instead of drunk texting your ex, which you’ll definitely regret in the morning… trust us.

1. Polish Your Nails

After spending a half hour trying to “color in the lines,” you wouldn’t risk ruining your masterpiece by trying to type.

2. Have a Heart-to-Heart with Rachel, Monica and Phoebe

That’s right, “Friends” is now on Netflix. Go binge-watch your brains out.

3. Get Busy with a New Guy

It’s kind of hard to text when you’re getting it on with a new hot rabbit.

4. Get Busy with Yourself

You may be lonely, but that doesn’t mean your lady/man parts should be neglected.

5. Text a Good Friend

Pretend they’re your ex and just unleash it, honey.

6. Make a Deal with the Bartender

If you’re out, promise the bartender that you’ll order another round of shots if they agree to hide/babysit your phone for a while.

7. Knit a Sweater

You’re obviously going to die as a sad, lonely old person, so you may as well learn how to knit now.

8. Shove Another Slice of Pizza in Your Mouth

Your fingers will be way too greasy to text.

9. Contemplate the Meaning of the Word “Purple”

Yeah it’s totally random, but it’ll get you mind off your ex for a little while.

10. Take Your Cat for a Walk

You never know if he’ll like it unless you try. And a little fresh air will probably do you some good.

11. Restrain Yourself, Literally

A little self-imposed S&M never hurt anyone. Just don’t lose the handcuff key.

12. Download a Preventative App

If you’re really desperate, here’s a list of seven apps that can prevent you from texting/calling/Facebook messaging/etc. your ex. They’re like a condom for your phone!

13. Keep Drinking

Hey, at some point you’ll just pass out, right?

For even more discreetly inappropriate fun, follow Hot Rabbit Shots on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram!


Personality Quiz: What Does Your Date’s Favorite Instagram Filter Say About Them?

So, you wake up next to a sexy babe after a long, steamy night between the sheets: Do you bolt for the door before they wake up, or stick around for a cup of coffee/round two?

Your gut might tell you to flee, but what if that hottie lying next to you turns out to be more than just one-night stand material? How do you decide on your next move?

Easy peasy. Just grab your phone and start Instagram stalking that shit! You can learn a lot about a person by checking out their Instagram profile (Read: Uh, no thanks crazy cat lady! Later, dude who lives in the basement of his parents’ house!)… and even more from the filters they throw over their photos.

These cheats will help you take your Instagram stalking skills to the next level so you can decide on-the-spot whether or not that hot rabbit is worth sticking around for.

1. #nofilter

Eye roll. These wannabes just wanna be part of the Instagram crowd. They either a) don’t know how to use Instagram, or b) have such a big ego that they feel the need to prove their “artistic” abilities to the world.

2. Amaro

You snagged a party animal! Amaro lightens up even the darkest of backgrounds, so there’s a good chance your man or lady spends most of their nights twerking at the club until 2am.

3. Mayfair, Nashville or Valencia

If you’re looking for someone who’s chill and easy-going, this Instagrammer might just be a keeper. On the flip side, these filters can indicate a lack of personality, and no one wants to be stuck with someone who isn’t very stimulating.

4. Rise

This Instagrammer is super sensitive. But they’re also a morning person, so they’re probably already wide awake and cooking you a nice, giant breakfast. You missed your chance to run to your car.

5. Hudson

Unless you have a thing for people who have a heart of ice and are incapable of love, get outta there—STAT!

6. X-Pro II, Lo-Fi, Brannan or Hefe

Hey there, high maintenance diva! Instagrammers who use these filters tend to see the world a little brighter, have a flair for the dramatics and an artsy side.

7. Early Bird or 1977

These old school, wannabe hipsters are stuck in the 70s and are always down for a good, chill time, if you know what we mean (wink).

Well, what’s the verdict? Instagram filters tell all: Did you sleep with a keeper?

For even more discreetly inappropriate fun, follow Hot Rabbit Shots on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram!