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13 Things to Do Instead of Drunk Texting Your Ex

The correlation between the number of drinks you consume and the desire to text your ex is undeniable. We get it—it’s not you, it’s the alcohol taking control of your fingertips.

Luckily, we’re here to help with a list of things that you can do instead of drunk texting your ex, which you’ll definitely regret in the morning… trust us.

1. Polish Your Nails

After spending a half hour trying to “color in the lines,” you wouldn’t risk ruining your masterpiece by trying to type.

2. Have a Heart-to-Heart with Rachel, Monica and Phoebe

That’s right, “Friends” is now on Netflix. Go binge-watch your brains out.

3. Get Busy with a New Guy

It’s kind of hard to text when you’re getting it on with a new hot rabbit.

4. Get Busy with Yourself

You may be lonely, but that doesn’t mean your lady/man parts should be neglected.

5. Text a Good Friend

Pretend they’re your ex and just unleash it, honey.

6. Make a Deal with the Bartender

If you’re out, promise the bartender that you’ll order another round of shots if they agree to hide/babysit your phone for a while.

7. Knit a Sweater

You’re obviously going to die as a sad, lonely old person, so you may as well learn how to knit now.

8. Shove Another Slice of Pizza in Your Mouth

Your fingers will be way too greasy to text.

9. Contemplate the Meaning of the Word “Purple”

Yeah it’s totally random, but it’ll get you mind off your ex for a little while.

10. Take Your Cat for a Walk

You never know if he’ll like it unless you try. And a little fresh air will probably do you some good.

11. Restrain Yourself, Literally

A little self-imposed S&M never hurt anyone. Just don’t lose the handcuff key.

12. Download a Preventative App

If you’re really desperate, here’s a list of seven apps that can prevent you from texting/calling/Facebook messaging/etc. your ex. They’re like a condom for your phone!

13. Keep Drinking

Hey, at some point you’ll just pass out, right?


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